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Tap into the UK: No sooner had This is Spinal Tap opened
in the UK in late 2000 when controversy erupted. A poster placed
in Tube stations in London advertised the film with the line
"Bigger Than Jesus ... and Funny as Hell!", a reference
to John Lennon's infamous quote about the popularity of the Beatles.
The Advertising Standards Authority received numerous complaints
from people who said they were offended by the suggestion that
Spinal Tap is bigger than Jesus Christ. The agency concluded,
however, that the poster does no harm to the Christian faith.
It made no ruling on the effect of Tap's music on Christian ears.
The posters are being stolen from Tube stations at an alarming
rate.
If someone flubs a line from This is Spinal Tap, he or she
should receive Tap demerits. If you were to say, "No, we're
all out of that. Do you wear brown?" as opposed to "Do
you wear black?" you would receive one demerit. Or if you
were to say, "This is my new special friend Barbi"
instead of Cindy, you would receive two demerits (you figure
it out). Accumulate 10 demerits and it's back to the Spinal Tap
Remedial School for the Spinally Impaired, where they teach things
like proper English voice inflections, Spinal Tap memory triggers
(where one line leads to the memory of another) and Arnie Fufkin
fashion tips.
TIM ZUELLIG
Chicago
If you read the April 1992 issue
of Guitar World, you probably entered the contest to win Nigel
Tufnel's Marshall stack guitar. Three of those guitars exist
— one is Nigel's, one is at the factory, and one went to
the winner. I have a friend who used to work at Guitar World,
and he told me about how everyone would huddle around a speakerphone
and tell the person they'd won. When they picked the Tap winner,
the guy was happy enough. Then he started calling on a regular
basis asking where the prize was. Now, remember, this was a custom
guitar, one of three in the world — it simply wasn't completed
by the deadline for entries. But he kept calling. Finally, he
had his lawyer call and threaten legal action. The factory eventually
delivered the guitar, and sure enough, the next week, someone
spotted a classified ad to the tune of "ONE-OF-A-KIND NIGEL
TUFNEL GUITAR..." The ungrateful non-Taphead bastard wanted
it so he could sell it. After being one of the hopeful Nigel
wannabes who dreamt of winning, this made me angry. Somewhere
out there in the collector's market lives Nigel's Marshall guitar,
and I'm sure it can be yours...for a price.
A DISGUSTED TAPHEAD
I was just at the Hard Rock Cafe in Boston last night and they
have Nigel's Marshall Stack Jackson guitar. I was tempted to
make a run for the door with it, but I figured, what's the point?
MATT ST. HUBBINS
Worchester, Massachussetts
Like any good literature, your Spinal Tap site made me laugh,
but it also made me think. As a true Taphead, I noted that you
made some glaring omissions from
your Tap discography. You may disbelieve, but I own all of them
or at least have held them in my hot little hands. As further
research affords me more insight into the ephemera of truly obtuse
Spinal Tap releases, I promise to keep you informed.
SCOTT SOOKMAN
Vinyl Hell
1870 N. Vermont Ave., #506
Los Angeles, California 90027
I noticed the Spinal Tap sound clip on your Tap fan site for
Bach Toccata and Fugue in D Minor.
Could you tell me how this fits into the video, who plays it,
and is it on the soundtrack album?
JANELL R. DUXBURY
Rockin'
the Classics
Is it true Tap recorded its album Smell the Glove in Dublin?
I want to find the studio and write my name on the wall outside.
PETER FITZPATRICK
Dublin, Ireland
When I went to the Tap show at the Universal Studios Amphitheatre
in Los Angeles, some members of Meconium were hanging outside.
I had an extra ticket. As these guys approached, I asked if they
needed a ticket, and one said, "I don't need tickets, my
dad is in the band." When I saw The Return of Spinal
Tap, it all made sense. Marty DiBergi was at the show and
when he walked down the aisle to his seat, the audience cheered.
There was a drawing held to win an older version of Jim the Skull.
Darn — I didn't win!
BRENDA BRUBACKER
Los Angeles
People at work clued me into your Tap Web page and I may reward
them. In the meantime, I'll steam my vegetables in my Spinal
Tap calendar (colander) that a friend rescued from the trash
can of his boss. Why are promotional items wasted on the unappreciative?
Did you know that Derek Smalls is mentioned in several adverts
that appear on the back of Jethro Tull's Thick as a Brick?
What is Derek's relationship to the band?
RAY COFFEY
I have been thinking of putting together a Tap database called
HyperTap.
SVEIN HALVORSEN
Norway
There are only two bands that I consider to be in the same league
as Tap: the Beatles and KISS. Unfortunately, my Tap collection
is limited. When I tried to apply to the fan club, my letter
was returned with green smudges. When I attempted to see Tap
during their reunion tour, my car was hit by a boat on the highway,
quite an irregular situation, that.
HUGH ASNEN
Philadelphia
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