Smalls,
Derek Albion (b1941): Derek joined Tap in 1967 after
the departure of Ronnie Pudding, who had left the group for a
solo career. A former member of the all-white Jamaican band Skaface,
Smalls was a student at the London School of Design (beginning
at age 17) and a member of groups such as Milage and the bar band
Teddy Noise, a power duo in which he learned the value of playing
loud. Derek grew up in Nilford-on-Null and was not as musically
inclined as his bandmates at a young age. His first girlfriend
was an exotic dancer named Miriam, and he enjoyed boxing for relaxation.
After Tap's 1982 tour of the United States and Tokyo, Smalls found
himself trapped in Japan for eight months when even hypnosis could
not help him find the hotel where he had left his passport. He
made the time pay off by developing a taste for Orientalia, a
passion that continues to this day ("if you've ever at his
East London Docklands flat, check out his collection of ceremonial
robes!" says the 1992 official fan club newsletter). During
his stay, Derek says he spent "nights in many hotels with
women of many nations. I took to playing bass in the subway stations,
but they don't like the bass in Japan. It's too low for them."
(RL) Later performed in North England pub circuit in various Tap
tribute bands. (GW) Also dabbled writing jingles in Flemish for
the Belgian milk board ("If it was any richer-it would be
cream!"), although he wrote a similar slogan for the Milk
Marketing Board while at the LSD. (LT) Used proceeds to purchase
two uncompleted flats on the docks of London after Tap's 1982
tour. In 1988, Derek replaced Geoff Hough in the Christian hard-rock
band Lambsblood, whose members included Moke, a former Tap roadie.
(HR) Like Nigel, a collector of fine cars, including at one time
a Lamborghini (which he lost in a divorce settlement), a Land
Rover and a Chevrolet Monza. (TR) A championship caliber Monopoly
player and orchid and rose grower (he wrote on the Tap Web page,
"It may sound strange for a bloke like me to have a green
thumb, but my own personal hybrid, the Big Bottom Rose, was given
'best of row' at the Chelsea Flower Show"), he was portrayed
by DiBergi as the mediator of the band during its turbulent 1982
U.S. tour. (TS) He was known for always seeking the "rational
explanation" of any situation, and for his sarcastic asides.
When Jeanine arrives to join the band in Milwaukee, for instance,
he comments to Nigel, "Visitor's Day, isn't it?" Earlier,
in Atlanta, when Ian explains that Polymer has delayed release
of "Smell the Glove" to experiment with some "new
packaging materials," an exasperated Derek comments, "They
got monkeys opening it or what?" Besides his affinity with
lukewarm water, he also feels a kinship with snakes, keeping several
as pets (including a large boa named Clarence). "They are
my soul brothers, in a way. There is the slinky quality to them,
which I try to apply to my stage persona." Derek made his
film debut before the opening credits of Marco Zamboni's "Roma
79" (1976). Derek in 1998 achieved his dream of working with
children, landing a job as a "floater" at a primary
school in Los Angeles (VH1). He also worked as an assistant crossing
guard. See also Biopic; Claypool,
Les; Crossing Guard; Its
a Smalls World; Lambsblood; Lesley Gore; Lukewarm
Water; Milage; Pipe;
Preserved Moose; Satanism;
Telephone Sanitizing; Tobacco;
We Love You.