Spinal Tap A to Zed

Crossing guard: On the eve of the 2000 "Back From the Dead" tour, Derek was employed as a substitute crossing guard in Los Angeles. "I'm waiting for a badge and sash so I can actually stop traffic and let children cross. Right now I'm just sitting there observing how it's supposed to work and getting a bit of kidding from the children about it. 'Oh, you're Mr. Smalls, you're the one that can't make the cars stop.' " (ME) Derek also worked as a "floater" in school libraries. "I bring a woman's touch to the classroom, in a way, because I'm a compulsive neatnik. I will bring in my own artwork to supplement what the kids have done because they're really crap. The style I work with when I'm not doing this is really more Dali - not Salvador Dali but images from 'Hello Dolly' " (VH1)