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Since I spent months compiling this site, it came as no surprise
when Spinal Tap began to invade my dreams. One night I imagined
that I was taking an aptitude test in a small classroom. No one
knew what the topic would be, and you could feel the tension
in the room. The exam booklet finally landed heavily on my desk,
and in bold letters across the top it read SPINAL
TAP. I was saved! I turned to see who was passing out
the exam, and it was none other than Marty DiBergi. Little did
my classmates know that I was the world authority on Spinal Tap.
Here's the test that DiBergi handed me. How well do you score?
a recording session at the Rainbow Trout Recording Studio filmed
for "This is Spinal Tap," David and Nigel get into
a shouting match because David was having trouble playing his
part. What song was the band recording at the time?
Like the Wind
2. During a scene at Season's Restaurant, David and Jeanine
suggest Tap wear make-up that reflects their Zodiac signs. David
is a Leo, Viv a Libra, Derek a Cancer, and Nigel a Capricorn.
What sign is Mick?
3. How did Tap drummer Eric "Stumpy Joe" Childs
meet his end?
unfortunate grilling mishap
on mysterious vomit
4. What is the name of Nigel's farm in Kent, England?
5. Which does Nigel consider to be the saddest of all musical
on a rainy day
-- they're all "happy"
6. What did Nigel write down as the height of the Stonehenge
monument as the band discusses reviving the production during
its 1982 tour?
7. At which record store did Artie Fufkin told the boys to
"kick this ass, for a man"?
Nick's Record Emporium
Disk 'an Dat
in the Round
8. According to the song "Stonehenge," how long
ago did the Druids live?
"Long before man came to be"
of years before the dawn of history"
long, long time ago in a land far away"
score and some decades ago"
9. At which New York City club did director Marty DiBergi
first see Tap perform in 1966?
(it was a friend's basement)
10. For what good deed did Queen Elizabeth knight Denis Eton-Hogg,
the one-time president of Polymer?
Serving his country in the Falklands War by not going
Tap to tour outside of the UK
Hoggwood, a summer camp for pale young boys
11. During a 1982 visit to Memphis, Tap runs into a rocker
named Duke Fame. How do they know him?
He is a former Tap drummer
Nigel and Duke grew up together
and Ian had been lovers, briefly
once opened for Tap
12. Tap originally had scheduled an opening act for its 1992
Royal Albert Hall performance, but the group did not appear for
security reasons. What was its name?
13. Which of the following does Nigel own?
14. During the 1982 tour, Lt. Bob Hookstratten recommends
a band to Tap called Four Jacks and a Jill that often played
at a Ramada Inn. In what city did he say the hotel was located?
15. What song was on the flip side of the Thamesmen hit "Gimme
We Are All Flower People
of the Fittest
16. Which of the following does Nigel credit with inspiring
him to write his best work?
A full moon
offering him a kind word
on a waterbed
17. Which was the first Tap album to go bronze (1 million
Like the Wind
Are All Flower People
18. Which of the following devices did Nigel not invent?
The silent snare drum
folding wine glass
19. What was the name of the giant skull that Tap used as
a prop during its last tour?
20. While Nigel was a member of the Lovely Lads, what band
was David in?
It didn't have a name
also was in the Lovely Lads
21. What was the gimmick behind the cassette-tape series that
David was listening to during the 1982 tour?
The works of famous authors read by actors with the
same last name
narrator read in his head
woman dressed as a man read the male parts
was read in Pig Latin
22. Which of the following is not a name that the members
of Tap have used to refer to their penises?
tiny hay maker
23. What is the maiden name of David's girlfriend and later
24. What song is Tap performing in "This is Spinal Tap"
when Derek gets stuck in the pod?
Majesty of Rock
'N Roll Creation
25. What did Derek's father do for a living?
He was a Crackerjack box model
ran a telephone sanitizing business
died before Derek was conceived
sold mint sandwiches
26. Who was scheduled to co-host Tap's 1992 NBC television
special but didn't show?
27. What is Nigel's "trademark"?
tattoo of Cher on his left buttock
ability to entice groupies to cook for him
The song, "You Look Nice, But For the
28. What was the incorrect band name on Tony the limo driver's
sign when the band arrives in New York for its 1982 tour?
29. In what venue did Tap get lost before its performance
in a scene from "This is Spinal Tap"?
30. What was the name of Bobbi Flekman's photographer at the
New York City launch party for the 1982 tour?
31. What magazine is Nigel reading in "This is Spinal
Tap" as the band waits in the airport to leave Austin, Texas?
32. Viv Savage was killed in a natural gas explosion while
visiting the grave of Mick Shrimpton. What fact did Tap not know
about Viv before his death?
He was an American Indian
had been abducted by a UFO as a youngster
had once been a drummer
was heir to the Sanka coffee fortune
33. What brand of jeans was Artie wearing when he told the
boys to "kick this ass, for a man" during the 1982
34. We know that David and Nigel were born in the Squatney
District of London. Where was Derek born?
35. When David and Nigel have a spat in the recording studio
over David's "fucking wife," Derek says, "Oh,
great. This is all we fucking need" and takes a swig from
a bottle of ________.
36. Tap borrowed a riff from this composer for "Heavy
37. Derek mouths this during a performance of "(Listen
to the) Flower People" on the television program Jamboreebop
We love you
If your score was:
81-100: You are a true Taphead! Quit your job, cut
all ties to your family, and hit the road in search of the band.
54-80: Your score was mediocre, indicating you are
cosmically closer to Tap than you realize.
27-53: You seem wishy-washy about your devotion to
Tap. Shave your head, burn some incense, chant "Hello, hello,
hello, please find me, hello, hello, hello" and continue
studying the A to Zed guide.
Less than 27: You are a total wanker, although you
probably get invited to a lot of parties and have what resembles